In my last vlog, I discussed how money and stress are related. Money continues to be one of the top three stressors in relationships. Today I want to talk about beliefs or stories surrounding money.
Money stories can keep you afraid of earning more, asking for a higher salary, or being in alignment with your values. If you struggle with finances I invite you to gently explore your own money story. How old were you when began to take on this belief? What did your parents say about money? I have four themes that typically come up from people I have worked with over the years. Do any of these fit for you?
Were you told “women don’t know how to manage money” or that, “women aren’t good with numbers”? Maybe you heard that having money is “bad” or “evil” or makes you selfish. Fast forward to where you are now in life. Do you find yourself unsure of how to create or stay consistent with a budget? Maybe hoping your bills will get paid or you think will eventually payoff credit card debt or school loan, but don’t open your bank statements or view them online for fear of it being in the red.
Was your message that “Money needs to be saved, not spent?” Or it sounded a little more extreme in that, “Either you save money or you are in debt?” Or how about being a “penny-pincher” or “frugal” will create happiness? Fast forward to now. You are good at saving money, know how much you have in the bank, pay your bills on time, but struggle with spending money on yourself or your family for fear of being in debt. You often miss out on activities with others or instantly say, “No” to requests. This story keeps you feeling unhappy and disconnected from friends and family.
This story has been around for a long time. “Your worth depends on what is in your bank account”. Or another way it is stated, “Your self-worth is your net worth,” or “you prove your worth by what you own-keep up with the Joneses.” Fast forward to today. You tend to spend more than you make to keep up the appearance, yet inside you feel unworthy. You put on a mask to show the world you “have it all together,” but struggle to make ends meet or get out of debt. Money doesn’t define you as a person. YOU are priceless. Your net worth is the difference between your assets and liabilities.
You know what is in your bank account, manage your budget monthly, consistently pay off bills and can give generously from your heart because you live below your means and have been following your financial plan. You are saving for your retirement, have your finances in order, and feel confident in the direction you are going in your life because you have created a plan. You have taken back your power and feel confident and in control of your money story. You know it is ok to ask for a raise or charge for your skills in business.
The more you avoid exploring your money story (or stories) the more anxiety and fears grow, which keeps you stuck. These unconscious beliefs can sabotage how much you earn, how to manage your finances and impact your all areas of your life.
Believing you offer value to your employer or in the business you run is why you charge the rates you do or ask for that raise. It is your skills, your expertise, and YOU that bring value to the company or business.
Together we can dig deep and explore the root of the emotion(s) that is keeping you stuck, such as loneliness, unworthiness, or fear. You begin to take action, consistently, in creating what is in alignment with your truth.
If you are ready to take back your power around money then contact me today for your free 20-minute consult. I offer single mentoring sessions and packages to help you transform your money story.
CEO of Burgess Counseling and Consulting LLC; Empowerment and Money Coach for Women. Helping women gain clarity in their values and goals in life, feel more confident in managing finances and overcoming stress.