Today’s episode is all about boundaries, what they are, or limit setting, tips for setting them and why they are important for teen girls and parents. Each week I discuss boundaries with my adult and teen girl clients. There are many myths about what a boundary is and misunderstandings on how to set them.

In this episode you will learn:

• What is a boundary
• Tips to set them
• Healthy vs unhealthy 
  

  Boundaries

  • What you like or don’t like
    • You knowing your values, beliefs and emotions
    • You have the right to be yourself
    • Feel more secure in who you are
  • You are responsible for your choices/behaviors not for another persons
  • You can’t set a boundary and take care of another person’s emotions
  • If you are getting frustrated or angry often then it is probably time to set a boundary
  • You may feel discomfort when setting a boundary, but will stop feeling resentment from not setting boundaries
  • Boundaries help hold others accountable for their behaviors
  • Brene Brown speaks about how boundaries helped her become a more compassionate person
  • Boundaries are important for your well-being and the health of your relationships
  • Boundaries stop triangulation
    • Triangulation is person A and person B have a conflict and person A tells person C and wants person C to be on their side and talk to person B.

  Tips in setting boundaries

  • Begin setting a boundary with someone you feel safe and secure with using assertive communication (episode 23 I spoke about assertive comm)
  • Boundary setting is a practice and others may not like your new boundaries
  • Friends and family may challenge your new boundaries
  • Example-teen daughter is being spoken to harshly or put down, she can tell person she doesn’t deserve to be spoken to that way and will walk away if person continues
  • If you don’t follow through with your boundary, then you are incongruent and can decrease others trusting you
  • Can’t make others change and can only change/control yourself

  What are healthy boundaries

  • Trusting your intuition and open to hear other people’s opinion
  • Have outside hobbies and projects
  • Have a schedule but are flexible
  • Allow yourself to feel your emotions
  • Compromise and negotiate in a calm manner
  • Everyone has a right to have secrets
  • Know that you have choices
  • You are enjoying and thriving in your life

  Book recommendations (some maybe affiliates):

  Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

  Boundaries with Teens by Dr. John Townsend

  The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

  I invite you to sign up for my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and for mothers.