Today’s episode is all about boundaries, what they are, or limit setting, tips for setting them and why they are important for teen girls and parents. Each week I discuss boundaries with my adult and teen girl clients. There are many myths about what a boundary is and misunderstandings on how to set them.
In this episode you will learn:
- What is a boundary
- Tips to set them
- Healthy vs unhealthy
Boundaries
- What you like or don’t like
- You knowing your values, beliefs and emotions
- You have the right to be yourself
- Feel more secure in who you are
- You are responsible for your choices/behaviors not for another persons
- You can’t set a boundary and take care of another person’s emotions
- If you are getting frustrated or angry often then it is probably time to set a boundary
- You may feel discomfort when setting a boundary, but will stop feeling resentment from not setting boundaries
- Boundaries help hold others accountable for their behaviors
- Brene Brown speaks about how boundaries helped her become a more compassionate person
- Boundaries are important for your well-being and the health of your relationships
- Boundaries stop triangulation
- Triangulation is person A and person B have a conflict and person A tells person C and wants person C to be on their side and talk to person B.
Tips in setting boundaries
- Begin setting a boundary with someone you feel safe and secure with using assertive communication (episode 23 I spoke about assertive comm)
- Boundary setting is a practice and others may not like your new boundaries
- Friends and family may challenge your new boundaries
- Example-teen daughter is being spoken to harshly or put down, she can tell person she doesn’t deserve to be spoken to that way and will walk away if person continues
- If you don’t follow through with your boundary, then you are incongruent and can decrease others trusting you
- Can’t make others change and can only change/control yourself
What are healthy boundaries
- Trusting your intuition and open to hear other people’s opinion
- Have outside hobbies and projects
- Have a schedule but are flexible
- Allow yourself to feel your emotions
- Compromise and negotiate in a calm manner
- Everyone has a right to have secrets
- Know that you have choices
- You are enjoying and thriving in your life
Book recommendations (some maybe affiliates):
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Boundaries with Teens by Dr. John Townsend
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
I invite you to sign up for my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and for mothers.
- What you like or don’t like