In this episode I discuss the difference between praise and encouraging words, discouraging statements and self-reflection for parents and others raising or mentoring teenage girls. Being a teenager can be challenging because they are wanting to feel accepted, step into their own identity but are still trying out new behaviors or beliefs, and wanting to feel successful and that they are enough. Parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors can role-model encouragement to improve self-esteem and use language that supports the teens in their life.
In this episode you will learn:
- What discouragement can look like or sound like from your teen daughter
- Praise vs encouragement language
- PCIT-Parent-Child Interactive Therapy for parents of young children and how labeled praises is encouraging for compliance vs good or bad child
- Family meetings episode 2-help in decision making process
- Reflecting on what your expectations are for your teenager-overly ambitious which reinforces she is not enough or accepting her where she is
- Previous conversation with Neil Brown PhD (episode 58)-power struggles and faith in your child
- Comparing your children to one another or other teens-creates self-doubt, sense of unworthiness
- Exploring your own values and hers-check out episode one
- Encouraging her effort and improvement
- Focus on her strengths vs only focusing on the negative behaviors
- Stating what you appreciate about them (in any relationship)
- Embracing being imperfect as a teen and parent
- Examples of encouraging statements
- Build self-esteem:
- give them responsibility,
- have faith in them, s
- how appreciation for what they are doing at home,
- ask them for suggestions and feedback about family decisions,
- help them accept mistakes they made-episode 32 discussion with Lisa Damour, PhD
- reflect on her progress and process
- look at positive expectations without rescuing
- Reframing, zooming out, and helping her with different possible perspectives
- Parents reflect on how do you encourage yourself?
LMFT and Transformational Life Coach
Nicole Burgess works with teen girls and women in overcoming anxiety, perfectionism and rediscovering joy. She offers both office and online therapy sessions for Indiana and California residents. She is also a transformation life coach for mothers of teens wanting to break free from the myth of being a perfect mom or needing parenting support.
Nicole Burgess LMFT
Owner of Burgess Counseling and Consulting LLC
I work with teen girls and women in overcoming anxiety through creating a safe place for self-compassion, heart-centered connection and in gaining self-confidence. Call today for your free 15 minute phone consult at 317-840-0490
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