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Ep 49: Diversity, Seek Understanding and Love in families

Today’s episode I share my recent experience at a conference in Washington D.C. where over 4,500 mental health professionals from various parts of the world gathered. I discuss visiting different Smithsonian museums and how the people and our past events impacted me. My invitation to parents and caregiver to seek to understand from your daughter vs creating division in your differences.
In this episode you will learn:
- The message from Brené Brown and William Doherty is about sharing our vulnerabilities and seeking to understand
- Slowing conversations down with your daughter and creating a family foundation of love and understanding
- Encouragement for parents in accepting their imperfections and continuing to empower your daughters
How when we create division we create isolation vs inclusion, compassion, and love:
- Brene Brown is a shame and vulnerability researcher from Texas
- She shared how “loneliness is a health epidemic”
- She stated how our fears have created divisions and the more our fears are feed (i.e. terrorism) then we eventually turn on other people
- She encourages families to talk about their vulnerabilities
- Begin to explore what you are grateful for in your life, which will increase joy
- How we can choose contribution over cynicism and criticism
- William Doherty does discernment counseling and has begun another movement regarding talking with communities and parents about their political views
- He discussed we can do “numb reactive, agitated reactive or grounded responsive”
- Parents and adults role model to children how to share their political beliefs in a calmer way vs if agitated your 6-year-old daughter can look at the authority you, the parent, are agitated about as a hero and become confused.
- Seek to understand your daughter’s declaration of being gay, bi-sexual or transgender
- Seek to understand her dating someone of a different ethnicity or race
- Seek support from mental health professional is she is having thoughts of suicide, self-harming or telling you she is depressed or pregnant
- Different doesn’t equal bad it just equals different
- Share your love of her not only through your words but your actions
- Create a family foundation of safety where all family members cannot only share their joys/celebrations but their struggles too.
- Place your differences aside for the moment. Be truly present for your daughter when she is sharing with you, her vulnerabilities.
- Parents continue to have self-compassion for yourselves and your imperfections
Resources


Nicole Burgess LMFT
Owner of Burgess Counseling and Consulting LLC
I work with teen girls and women in overcoming anxiety through creating a safe place for self-compassion, heart-centered connection and in gaining self-confidence. Call today for your free 15 minute phone consult at 317-840-0490
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