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Parent time to reflect, celebrate and embrace past year

Today’s episode is for parents and the role they have been doing over the last year. Parenting is a full time job with both its challenges and rewards. At the time of this recording it is December and we await for the new year to begin. I am inviting all parents to set aside some time and reflect on your role as a parent. Most parents I work with struggle to see what they are doing well or celebrate how they have broken negative family patterns, such as abuse. So today I am asking you to get out some paper and a pen, set some time for you to reflect either by yourself and/or with your partner, and explore what went well for the year. What areas you may want to adjust/change for next year and what you are grateful for. Once you have done this you may want to encourage your daughters to do the same. Many tween and teen girls struggle with seeing their strengths, obstacles they have overcome and courage that is within them. You never know this may become a family tradition at the end of the year.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Why reflecting is important
  • Celebrating your successes and lessons learned
  • What your daughter has taught you over the year

Why reflecting is important as a parent

  • Need to stop and look back on what worked and what didn’t
  • Gain a better understanding of yourself
    • You knowing your values, beliefs and emotions
    • You have the right to be yourself
    • Feel more secure in who you are
  • You are responsible for your choices/behaviors not for another persons

Examples of areas to consider as a success

  • Stopped cycle of violence in your family
    • Grew up in abusive home (physical abuse, verbal/emotional abuse and/or neglect abuse)
  • In episode 12 Anne Halleck shares her work in trauma informed yoga  and working with women in regaining confidence, building resilience and healing from those past hurts.
  • How did you stop the cycle?
  • In episode 14 I spoke with Mercedes Samudio about her work in helping parents explore their unique parenting powers and unlocking them.
    • Explore what do you do as a parent that is unique to your family and empowers your daughter because of it.
  • Struggle with being imperfect.
    • In episode 15 I discuss this with Sharon Martin and in episode 25 with Melvin Varghese.
    • We discuss the importance of gaining the awareness of when our perfectionism tries to control every aspect of our life,
    • How that impacts our relationships and
    • Role-modeling self-acceptance is important for our teenagers to see.
    • How does your role-modeling being authentic and imperfect help her be more resilient and courageous?
  • Encouraged your daughter to get into the kitchen more
    • In episode 22 Jill Castle and I discuss the importance of knowing how to cook benefits both parents and their daughters.
  • Or maybe you became more aware of how you talked about food or your body image because you noticed a change in your daughter’s behavior at meal time or with food in general.
    • In episode 26 Jennifer McGurk shares ways to create a healthier relationship with food.
    • What are you doing that empowers your daughter to love all parts of herself or encourages her to take risks in the kitchen?
  • Another area of struggle I often see in my practice is parents trying to make their daughters do homework or do a certain behavior.
    • In episode 32 Lisa Damour shares how we can’t make a teenager do anything.
    • She shares healthier ways parents can set boundaries and consequences for their daughter regarding homework.
    • In episode 33 I talk about boundaries and why they are important.
    • Think back on what you have done over the year in boundary setting whether it is with homework, household chores, etc and how you are setting your daughter up for success in critical thinking skills, resiliency and perseverance.
  • How are you more mentally strong this year?
    • In episode 28 Amy Morin shares what mentally strong people don’t do and what parents can do to role-model to their teenagers taking calculated risks.
    • How we think impacts our emotions and behaviors and we do have the power to change them.
    • How have you changed your self-talk to be more empowered?
    • How have you supported your daughter in facing fears because you have faced yours?
  • Now that you have written down some of your accomplishments for the year, pause and just sit in how you feel about what you have achieved.
    • You are brave.
    • You are courageous.
    • You are enough.
    • You are imperfect and you continue to show up everyday being the best parent you can be.
    • Thank you for your work as a parent, for embracing your vulnerabilities, for role-modeling how to love yourself and give love.
    • For raising tween and teen girls to be empowered, courageous and strong.
  • Explore behaviors or things your daughter did over the year that helped you be a better parent and/or person.
    • What are some of the lessons you learned from her and what are you grateful for because of those lessons?
  • We learn from one another and practice our skills in relationships
    • If you want to change a specific behavior in the next year, write it down, share it with your partner or during a family meeting and track your progress.

As this year comes to a close I hope you and your family enjoy what ever your ritual or tradition is that acknowledges this past year and welcomes in the new year.